On a date the eyes speak volumes, and with a Covid-enforced Zoom Valentine’s Day in store for many, the eyes are more important than ever before. Eyes can be incredibly attractive, but they also communicate how interested a person may be in you and your conversation. So, what does it mean if there is no eye contact, too much staring or wandering eyes?
Mr Alex Shortt, Consultant Ophthalmic Surgeon for Optegra Eye Hospital Group, casts light to help you have a successful 14th February.
This is vital when dating, especially if meeting for the first time. The amount of eye contact you receive should feel comfortable; if it does not it is either too much or too little. Too much staring can seem too analytical, critical or even domineering. While if they’re looking around the room or away from the screen a lot then they’re not giving you the attention you deserve. Wandering eyes can be very off-putting!
Eyes and listening
We tend to give more eye contact when we are listening than we do when we’re talking. Check that your date is looking at you more of the time when you are talking and vice versa; when it’s their turn to talk you should give them more eye contact.
Too high or low a blink rate can be off putting and even annoying. High blink rates are associated with nervousness or high stress, but it can put us on edge. If it’s a first date they may well be a bit nervous but by the time you get to date three and four this should be more normal, around 20-25 blinks per minute.
Eyes and smiles
Even though we smile with our mouths we also use our eyes when we smile. Genuine smiles activate a muscle that runs around the eye called the Orbicularis Oculi, which in turn works with the Zygomatic muscle at the corners of our lips. That’s why genuine happy smiles are said to “Reach the eyes” because they do and over time lines form from the eye to the mouth.
Eyes and emotions
In order to express all manner of emotions we use our eyes in conjunction with other parts of the face, six of which are universal – happiness, sadness, fear, anger, surprise and disgust. Your date should be using them appropriately at the right times to help build rapport, and so should you. A great sign!
Optegra Eye Health Care is a specialist provider of ophthalmic services in the UK. It operates 23 eye hospitals and clinics, bringing together leading-edge research, medical expertise and state-of-the-art surgical equipment. Its top ophthalmic surgeons are renowned for their areas of expertise, offering excellent clinical outcomes.